本帖最后由 ヮ成熟、羙° 于 2014-6-12 22:20 编辑
美国社会学家对大学毕业生的建议 荷叶/译 一．别为实现自己的梦想而发愁 人们经常告诉大学生“要跟着感觉走”，“要做自己爱做的事”，“自己应该做什么样的人”或“使自己的梦想成真”。三分之二的人认为他们可以找到一份允许自己改变世界的工作，一半的人认为会在五年之内。天呢！ 这样会助长年轻人失败。事实上，绝大多数人找不到一份既是终生爱好又能改变世界的工作，世界经济不是这样的。因此，在工作上要把自己的眼界设置得比痴迷要稍微低一点点。只要找一份自己喜欢的工作就好了。利用那份工作使自己过上充实的生活，拥有许多好东西，有乐趣，能够助人什么的。生活美好就相当不错了，即使不太完美。 二．交友 美国人太重视找情人结婚了。我们认为这会带来幸福。然而，事实上，身心健康都与友谊密切相关。如果你有好朋友，你就不大可能得流行性感冒，不大可能会死于癌症，失去配偶会更好地恢复，变老时会保持敏锐的头脑。你将感觉更有能力面对生活的挑战，不大可能会感觉沮丧或实施自杀，年老时也会更加幸福。有好朋友就像一年额外收入十四万五千五百美元一样，增加使自己幸福的机会。因此，交友吧。 三．别为独身发愁 单身，尤其是女性，在我们的社会上会受到指责。我们都对一个可悲的画面不陌生，星期六晚上，一个孤独的女人，穿着睡衣，吃着冰淇淋，只有她的猫与她相伴。但是，美国百分之四十五的成年人没有结婚，大约有七分之一单独生活。 你可能正是这样。研究表明，年轻人对自己婚姻状况的期待（例如三十结婚，三十二生子）与实际情况往往不相关或相关甚少。因此，顺其自然吧。 如果你单身，你就不必为犯错误担忧，因为其它人，尤其是更重要的人也犯过相同错误。单身的人更多地和朋友在一起，更愿做志愿工作，更多地参与社区活动。一般说来，从未结过婚的女人和离婚的女人比婚姻中的女人更幸福。因此，不要相信单身是悲惨的这种鬼话。 四．不要拿性别和婚姻太当真 如果你确实结婚了，顺其自然。面对挑战时，婚姻的满意度，财务安全以及孩子们的幸福与灵活的相关要超过任何其它的家庭组织方式。运转最好的家庭是那些能够弯曲的。因此，与那些认为一方养家，一方管家管孩子的人结为伴侣会后患无穷。对于非传统性的家务活，双方同样刚性也会有同样结果。关于如何组织家庭有些想法是可以的，但你最好把幸福赌在灵活上。 五．好好想想是否要买房 当前的美国梦围绕着住房，买房被理所当然地看作通向全面成人的一个阶段。但普遍地拥有住房这一理想诞生于二十世纪五十年代，还是一个很新的观念。 只有这样短暂的历史，有趣的是，人们通常坚持买房是万无一失的投资和保障退休的最好方式。事实上，买房不一定是最佳选择。按揭可能比房租少，但还有税费，保险和业主协会费。将来有一天可能卖房时，比买时要贵，但按揭 时，你付了利息，你付出的要远远高于房价。你可能不受房主控制，你会发现业主协会会控制你，这可能更糟。还有更令人头疼的事，租房住会缓解你负责修理的压力，也给了你可能珍惜的搬家自由。 因此，到底是买房还是租房更适合你的财务状况，生活方式和将来的目标，要慎重考虑。 六．更加认真地考虑是否要孩子 关于孩子一位父亲说过如下的话：“孩子是巨大的快乐之源，但也把其它所有的快乐之源变得狗屁不如。”事实上，养孩子既增加了生活的目标感，又持久地减少了个人和婚姻的幸福感。养孩子意味着把你短暂的生命和有限的收入花在一项快乐上。你只有那么多时间和金钱，而寻求满意，快乐和人生意义的方式却多种多样。要考虑一下所有的选择。 附：原文 1. Don't worry about making your dreams come true College graduates are often told: "follow your passion," do "what youlove," what you were "meant to do," or "make your dreams come true." Two-thirds think they're going find a job that allows them to change the world, half within five years. Yikes.
This sets young people up to fail. The truth is that the vast majority of us will not be employed in a job that is both our life long passion and a world-changer; that's just not the way our global economy is. So it's ok to set your sights just a tad below occupational ecstasy. Just find a job that you like. Use that job to help you have a full life with lots of good things and pleasure and helping others and stuff. A great life is pretty good, even if it's not perfect.
2. Make friends
Americans put far too much emphasis on finding Mr. or Ms. Right and getting married. We think this will bring us happiness. In fact, however, both psychological well-being and health are more strongly related to friendship. If you have good friends,you'll be less likely to get the common cold, less likely to die from cancer,recover better from the loss of a spouse, and keep your mental acuity as you age. You'll also feel more capable of facing life's challenges, be less likely to feel depressed or commit suicide, and be happier in old age. Having happyfriends increases your chance of being happy as much as an extra $145,500 a year does. So, make friends!
3. Don't worry about being single
Single people,especially women, are stigmatized inour society: we're all familiar with the image of a sad, lonely woman eating ice cream with her cats in her pajamas onSaturday night. But about 45 percent of US adults aren't married and around onein seven lives alone.
This might be you.Research shows that young people's expectations about their marital status(e.g., the desire to be married by 30 and have kids by 32) have little or no relationship to what actually happens to people. So, go with the flow.
And, if you're single, you're in good company. Single people spend more time with friends,volunteer more, and are more involved in their communities than married people.Never-married and divorced women are happier, on average, than married women.So, don't buy into the myth of the miserable singleton.
4. Don't take your ideas about gender and marriage too seriously
If you do get married, keep going with the flow. Relationship satisfaction, financial security, and happy kids are more strongly related to flexibility in the faceof life's challenges than any particular way of organizing families. The most functional families are ones that can bend. So partnering with someone who thinks that one partner should support their families and the other should take responsibility for the house and children is a recipe for disaster. So is being equally rigid about non-traditional divisions of labor. It's okay to have ideasabout how to organize your family but your best bet for happiness is to beflexible.
5. Think hard about whether to buy a house
Our current image of the American Dream revolves around homeownership, and buying a home is often taken for granted as a stage on the path to full-fledge adulthood. But theideal of universal home ownership was born in the 1950s. It's a rather newidea.
With such a short history, it's funny that people often insist that buying a house is afool-proof investment and the best way to secure retirement. In fact, buying ahouse may not be the best choice for you. The mortgage may be less than rent,but there are also taxes, insurance, and the increasingly common Home Owners Association (HOA) fees. You may some day sell the house for more than you bought it but, if you paid interest on a mortgage, you also paid far more than the sale price. You have freedom from a landlord, but may discover your HOA is just as controlling, or worse. And then there's the headache: renting relieves you from the stress of being responsible for repairs. It also offers a freedom of movement that you might cherish.
So, think carefully about whether buying or renting is a better fit for your finances, lifestyle,and future goals.
6. Think even harder about having kids
One father had thisto say about children: "They're a huge source of joy, but they turn every other source of joy to shit." In fact, having children correlates with both an increased sense of purpose in life and a long-lasting decrease in individual and marital happiness. Having kids means spending a lot of your short life and limited income on one source of joy. You have only so much time and money and there are lots of ways to find satisfaction, pleasure, and meaning in this life. Consider all your options. | 
发表于 2014-6-10 18:36:59
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